LADVENT CALENDAR

We’ve got Prizes, we got Paedos and we got Pox!

Yes – Jesus, Joseph and Mary Queen of Pox!

‘Mary Queen of Pox’ c/w ‘Middle Finger’ will be released at The Engine Shed, Lincoln on 14th December. All attending arse bandeets and sheepshaggers will get a free vinyl single as a gift from Slippery Git on the t-shirt and assorted paraphernalia stall.

(Keep your ticket stub you’ll need it to claim your vinyl!)

 

23
12
10
17
15
8
16
3
18
19
25
24
9
21
20
1
4
22
6
5
14
13
7
2
11
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Curly Clare

Curly Clare

Here comes Curly Clare with her pubic hair
Reaching forty feet, curling round her knees
And stretching down the stairs

She’s quite fussy about her pussy
Even though its quite dandruffy
And she’s bushy round the gusset
So she takes the time to brush it

And the hairs peep through when they catch in her zip
Like grey corkscrews but with yellowy tips
They smell of wee and she tries to mask it
It looks like last year’s hanging basket

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The Beaters Xmas Tip

Keep warm this winter, especially during cold snaps and frosts. Light a sturdy fire and drink plenty of fluids.

INSTRUCTIONS

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Knobby's Specials

Only 3 Sunday Dinners to go until Xmas, and here we proudly present to you Uncle Knobby's Christmas Special Fayre.

Knobby's Specials

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Ladvent Quiz

This is the second of 7 questions. Save up all the answers. Post your 7 answers written on a rude Xmas Card to The Cock in Treacle, 13 King Edward Street, Macclesfield SK10 1AQ. The first correct answers will win a variety of rare vinyl signed by the band!

Download

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Ladvent Quiz

This is the fifth of 7 questions. Save up all the answers. Post your 7 answers written on a rude Xmas Card to The Cock in Treacle, 13 King Edward Street, Macclesfield SK10 1AQ. The first correct answers will win a variety of rare vinyl signed by the band!

Download

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Ladvent Quiz

This is the first of 7 questions. Save up all the answers. Post your 7 answers written on a rude Xmas Card to The Cock in Treacle, 13 King Edward Street, Macclesfield SK10 1AQ. The first correct answers will win a variety of rare vinyl signed by the band!

Download

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Once in Royall Davids Chippy

Enjoy some early festive misery…

Download

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The Sunniside Era Nursing Home

I’ve spent the best part of me life trying to ditch the wife
With knickers soiled and maggoty
She needs helping to the lavatory
No matter how I tried, the bitch just wouldn’t die
I tried cyanide in the shepherd’s pie,
Carbon monoxide by the fireside
Fed her meat that wasn’t cooked
I tried homicide I tried pesticides, even tried uxoricide
(And I had to look that one up)
50 years of pain, I had to get away,
and so I booked myself a place
In the Sunniside golden era nursing home

Now I’m an internee, Its hot and smells of wee
At least I am alone, alone and on my own in
the Sunniside golden era nursing home

But guess who came to spoil it?
(She needs helping to the toilet)
In the Sunniside golden era nursing home
I told her thanks for calling,
and I ordered a tarpaulin
And a shovel over the phone,
and some stuff that disintegrates bone
I bought a blender off the net,
about the same size as her head
I’ve tried to boot her,
tried to shoot her and electrocute her
Now I’ll execute her . . .
. . . with my mobility scooter

At last I am alone, alone and on my own
in the Sunniside golden era nursing home

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Ladvent Quiz

This is the third of 7 questions. Save up all the answers. Post your 7 answers written on a rude Xmas Card to The Cock in Treacle, 13 King Edward Street, Macclesfield SK10 1AQ. The first correct answers will win a variety of rare vinyl signed by the band!

Download

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Ladvent Quiz

This is the last of 7 questions. Post your 7 answers written on a rude Xmas Card to The Cock in Treacle, 13 King Edward Street, Macclesfield SK10 1AQ. The first correct answers will win a variety of rare vinyl signed by the band!

Download

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Ladvent Quiz

This is the fourth of 7 questions. Save up all the answers. Post your 7 answers written on a rude Xmas Card to The Cock in Treacle, 13 King Edward Street, Macclesfield SK10 1AQ. The first correct answers will win a variety of rare vinyl signed by the band!

Download

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Gordons Takeaway Menu

Download Gordons velly velly tasty xmas menu here!

Download

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Ladvent Quiz

This is the sixth of 7 questions. Save up all the answers. Post your 7 answers written on a rude Xmas Card to The Cock in Treacle, 13 King Edward Street, Macclesfield SK10 1AQ. The first correct answers will win a variety of rare vinyl signed by the band!

Download